These are 35mm film documentations of my travels on Maui and Oahu.
Below is a collection of 35mm film snapshots of my time at Mouna Farm on the island of Oahu. I was taking pictures during my traveling to document my experience and remind me once I moved on into the world.
I am sitting in a chair at my cousin's apartment in Bushwhick. It has been three days since I arrived onto the mainland from the island of Oahu into New York City. Prior, I was off the grid, even living out of a rental car at one point on Maui, and am now writing presently to update my being in the world since I started this blog and haven't been posting due to travel complications. The farm I was originally at in Hana, Maui showed it's true colors and it became a negative situation that forced me to leave with two other companions I met there. I was not wanted there, in turn enabling me to feel the same way, and decided to move on to another moment and reality outside of the twisted community I first entered. That decision landed me onto the island of Oahu for about a month where I was before I am now. I was living in a tent and working/participating in a sacred community on the land, in the town of Waianae. It was an atmosphere with multi-dimensional components that involved an active living community, organic farm, outside ghetto, and inner silence sanctuary that taught me many things about who I am and what I want for myself in this life. I worked about ten hours a day cleaning, cooking, harvesting, tending to the land, helping with farm hard labor, participating amongst the community, and meditating in the ocean. I volunteered my time with no compensation or reward except clean, healthy, organic food. My days started in the hot tropic sun and ended at sunset with the rising moon. It was revolutionary for my sense of Self as a young adult facing the world after the completion of my education. I began to allow everything that once constituted me to transform into nothingness just pure awareness. I shed some skin and some bad habits that dictated my past lifestyle. I was dirty all the time, taking cold outdoor showers, and using a compost toilet while sleeping in a tent on five stacked sleeping pads. I sat in the sun, wrote letters to my best friends, and developed new ways of thinking that I brought with me here to the present moment.
Today I signed the lease to my new apartment in Brooklyn????? I am trying to comprehend how and why I am here but a sign in a window at a thrift store today reminded me, "the universe has no obligation to make sense to you" and loled. My time in Hawaii doesn't even feel like it existed. I am who I am where I am right now, and it's crazy to really feel like I am in such a limbo both internally and externally... its peaceful. I placed myself back in society at one of the most true grit places on the map (even though the map is not the territory) after spending two months on Hawaiian time with a slow paced lifestyle. I am here in the city that never sleeps and I have started my experience in reality again doing whatever I need to do to "get it done"- to start making money, to secure my safety, feed myself clean food, and keep my head above water. I am curious to see if I create a new version of myself or if I find myself clinging to who I was before I traveled if I can access any comfort left inside of my being. I no longer have any ounce of absolute certainty for the unfolding that is happening. I am excited to learn, grow, and become in this city. It feels good to be so raw, pure, and honest with my awakening.
I have loads of film from my stay on the islands documenting my past experience in the sun and will be beginning to collect my thoughts for the next few weeks on how I want to go about expressing in society again. Bills have to come first and making a living is priority over my studio practice now that I am outside of school, which is not ideal and is sacrificing parts of my soul, but I know I need to restart growing a life for myself and I am doing it alone which puts my responsibilities first. Any time I have outside of my day-to-day survival I need to devote to my studio practice again. I am brainstorming how I want the process of my making work again to regrow. I want it be a defining of some sorts for what it means to be in the world. The same thrift store that taunted me with the knowledge of the universe today had two huge bins of found images and old photographs that I found so appetizing, 69 cents each. I had to slap my hand from buying a bunch right away. Instead of rapidly spiraling out of control with "to do's" I controlled my energy and wrote it down in my notes on my phone to come back to when I am ready. Today has been wonderful.
This blog page exists as written documentations, pictures, and multi-dimensional descriptions of day-to-day experiences being in the world.